The World Has Turned And Left Me Here

It seems like the world is taking a collective break from doing interesting things this week. The whole Dick Cheney incident last week has kind of put a cap on the interest I have in the complete ineptitude of this administration. What's that you say, you've sold away the rights to our ports to a country with terrorist ties? Nope, still not as good as the Vice President shooting a guy in the face. And television, my ever so trusted and loyal friend, has let me down as well. It's a sweeps month for God's sake, and there is nothing on. Executives figured... "Hmm, both the Olympics and American Idol are on? No, no... that right there, that covers every possible viewer we could ever get." So they leave people who watch, well, interesting television I suppose, out to dry. But there is hope in the world, how ever shining and brief it may be:

- If, for some strange and utterly alien reason you don't feel like watching the pilot episode of Lost for the 100th time (they actually threw a party to celebrate it. Show runner Damon Lindelof was quoted at the party as saying, "We were worried that people might start getting sick of us playing this episode over and over again, but then we said fuck it, they need us." He then stuffed cake into his mouth and washed it down by pouring two bottles of Cristal directly into his mouth) the fine folks at the government disowned PBS have your back. Tonight sees the kick off of 'Monty Python's Personal Best', a six hour series where each Python showcases their favorite sketches. It airs at 9 and 10 on most PBS stations for the next two weeks.

- I don't know what '24' fans in general look like, and frankly I'm scared to find out. My guess is that we're a horrifying mix of testosterone fueled jocks who dig on the action and torture, and pudgy pale television geeks like myself who tune in every week to watch the subtle character development that occurs as Jack struggles between his life and his duty. If this article is true, I imagine I'm going to get my ass kicked the second I say "I wonder how the movie will continue Jack's character arc?" in the theater. Then the guy will totally high five his buddy and say, "Whoo!"

- This live Shins recording is like peanut butter for the indie soul. I have no idea what that means.

- In a scene that makes the one from 'Bananas' look like an example of grace and poise, I gathered the courage to buy the new issue of Vanity Fair. And after I got over the erupting feelings of anger and jealousy toward Tom Ford, I learned a few lessons. Every picture in the portfolio has the star doing something wacky or sexy, that is except for Philip Seymour Hoffman. His is just a simple head shot - no crazy nudity, no wacky situation. I just imagine him showing up to the shoot, Ford goes "Philip, I want to dress you up like - ", that's probably as far as he got before Hoffman uttered a deep gravelly "Why don't you go fuck yourself?", then probably just grabbed the camera and took the photo himself. Lesson learned? The man is class, head to toe. I also learned that Michelle Monaghan attended my school. And then left it, to pursue an actual career, and she's now more successful than any of the people currently in attendance here will ever be. So, yay school. And as much as I admire Natalie Portman for totally shaving her head for 'V For Vendetta', her hair needs to grow back. Now.