Sun Is In The Sky, Why, Oh Why?

Hey! It's still freezing. I know it probably sounds like I'm over harping this, and should let it go, but honestly, it's become the biggest part of my life right now. As soon as you get inside, all anyone will talk about is how cold it is - and this doesn't spring from the awkward feeling of not knowing someone that well so you talk about the weather - people actually care. This is an actual conversation I overheard at the movies today: "So I killed a bear today. I made a coat out of him" "Where did you find a bear?" "Lincoln Park Zoo." "Is it warm?" "It was, but once it gave off most of it's bear steam, it was just kind of heavy, and then the blood started to freeze." "Damn, that sucks." "Yeah I know. Like, this bear had cubs too. I looked them in the eyes as I turned their mother into a coat." "What did you do with it?" "I threw it into a dumpster."

So, to summarize - cold. Which is why I'm excited for Thursday, when I get to see Lily Allen at the Metro, as part of her American coming out tour that kicked off tonight on SNL. It all seemed silly to me back in the summer, why Capitol would wait to release an album that was so sunny and fun in the middle of January. When its cold. (I'm not even kidding, I think Lake Michigan finally gave in and froze over) But I kind of see the appeal right now, because I'm looking forward to Thursday, hoping that it will be the one spot in the week when something is actually able to take my mind off of the facts that despite an entire tube of Burts Bees my lips have chapped open into a series of painful opens sores. And to their credit, Capital does honestly seem to be pushing her - the major television appearances, these Mtv spots:

But is it working? Asking around my school, no one has heard of Lily Allen. I put on 'LDN' the other night at a party, and the kids who had been giggle dancing their way through 'Thriller' seconds before (Art School Kids don't sincerely dance, I've learned that now) all kind of stopped. Oh, but if you put some Of Montreal song about turning into a penguin on, they'll be right back out there, giggling.

Anyway, here's Lily's newest video, for 'Alfie'. It's basically a literal interpretation of the song, which usually doesn't work - I'm looking at you, every Men At Work video ever made - except her brother is played by a puppet. It's basically 'My Cousin Skeeter', but with more cute English girls, less Bill Bellamy, and I'm guessing about the same amount of weed. Seriously, someone must have been injecting Drain-O into their vains to think that show was a good idea.

Delusional Girlfriend Theater

I think keeping tabs on the relationship statuses of celebrity is basically the entertainment alternative for people who don't play fantasy football. They both involve obsessing over people you'll never meet, and both slowly drain away from any chance you have of having an actual social life of your own. Frankly, they're American. Anyway - let's look at the boards. We may have lost Queen Amidala and her decoy to their respective hunky Mexican boy friend and skinny British fiancee (somewhere in Madrid, a sob rings out, followed by a muffled gun shot), but its all good. Because who needs them? They're skinny. And Rachel Bilson is now single. As is Scarlett Johansson. And I don't know about you my friends, but I am what they call "prime rebound material". Seriously, I have that written on a mesh trucker hat. It's very funny.

And then there was this, from the new issue of Filter magazine, the one with John Krasinski becoming the fifth Shin on the cover. They interview Lily Allen, and ask her about what type of men she actually likes:

"What kind of guy is Lily attracted to, anyway? 'They're all slightly overweight with facial hair and glasses; the Sean Lennon type,' she tells me after a moment of consideration. 'The more self esteem issues a guy has about himself and his physical appearance, the more attractive I find him. Probably because it make him easy to manipulate,'"

It's true, we're like emotional Playdo. Is there some sort of reverse laser surgery where they can screw up your eyes to the point that you require glasses? Because if so, I am so in. Slightly overweight? My nickname is Ponch, and it's not just because I'm a huge "CHiPs" fan (though I totally am). Facial hair? Oh yeah, and its patchy, its patchy as hell. It looks like I just cut my hair off, applied glue to my face, and threw the clippings into the wind to see whatever would stick. Self esteem issues? I think you know where that issue stands by the fact that you're reading my blog.

I can only pray that this wasn't a joke, and that guys like me are actually a 'type', and not just in the 'you're totally like my brother, I can tell you anything' type. Because seriously, that makes me want to bang my head against the wall, and I do, and it hurts.

LDN

London is the prettiest city in the world. It's official. And let's forget about the delusional dreams of somehow wooing two of the most sought after women on the planet, if you lived in London, you could just buy a date with the coolest girl in the world. That, and brown sauce is readily available. It's not fair, it's just... not.