What A Presidential Candidate's My Space Page Says About Them

John Edwards: John Edwards wants you to hear what he has to say, and knowing that he's been out of politics (and the public eye) for the last three years, and that a failed vice presidential bid is the highlight of his resume, it makes sense that he's a little over eager to make sure people are listening to him. Honestly, I didn't even know that you could set up a YouTube clip to play as soon as you loaded a page, but Mr. Edwards has proved me wrong, because as soon as you get there, he's already asking you to stand up for healthcare. The rest of the page is fairly laid back, with a subtle beige and blue color scheme, all topped by a banner showcasing Mr. Edwards oddly youthful face. It's all very earthy, and very organic, very youth friendly - his top eight is made up of a collection of poorly lit dorm dwellers and frat boys, two young military members in Iraq, and his wife, Elizabeth, who apparently felt the need to get in on this. It all kind of screams, "John Edwards Is The Candidate Of The Youth Of America, At Least The One With A Name That Doesn't Sound Like A Terrorist".

Barrack Obama: Speaking of which. Barack Obama's site is kind of boring - the blue and white layout makes it look more like a Facebook page than a wild and expressive MySpace page. But the kicker about Mr. Obama's page is that he has nothing to do with it - it's all unofficial. Even still, the creator of the site has already surpassed their goal of 35,000 unsolicited adds, just a few hundred away from 38,000 (Edwards, in contrast, only has a little over 11,000 so far). At this pace, it seems that Mr. Obama could just come back to Chicago, eat himself into a Mr. Beef coma that would last until next November, and still win the election. When they woke him up to tell him the news, he'd probably just mumble "Cool," then go get some Fruit Loops and watch Blues Clues.

Tom Vilsack: Tom Vilsack's page accurately reflects his position in the race, since I would have no idea who he was or that he was running if it wasn't for the odd Orwellian banner announcing it on the top of the page.

Hillary Clinton: Hillary Clinton is in it to win it, and her MySpace page screams it out loud. It doesn't matter that she has more face recognition or money than any other candidate out there, her page is crammed with more photos to make sure you know what she looks like from every angle and in every color pant suit, and gives you multiple opportunities to spend money on every thing that you could possibly put the name Hillary on. There are banners and links for every conceivable internet group she could be a part of: Facebook, Livejournal, Flickr, MySpace (On her MySpace page, yeah), and every official and unofficial Hillary site in between. Try this out - look above your bed. There's probably a Hillary poster up there right now. Yeah, she put it up while you were sleeping. It's how she rolls.

John McCain: Do you remember the SNL skit from 2000, where all of the GOP primary candidates were sitting around in a hotel in New Hampshire, and Will Ferrell's George Bush says to Chris Parnell's John McCain "Oh, were you a prisoner of war, I hadn't heard"? That's kind of how Mr. McCain's unofficial MySpace page reads - "Oh, are you a patriot, I hadn't been told". The red white and blue font lay out, to the mildly conservative, Drudge reportish text design, the top 24 comprised entirely of military men, and the fact that he completely ignored the usual space for books and movies just to put in excerpts explaining his stance on various issues, everything here cries out to tell you that forget what you heard in 2000, John McCain is hardcore conservative.

Rudy Giuliani: As much as the McCain page reads like a headline from the Post, Rudy Giuliani's unofficial MySpace Page reads like a quiet editorial in the Times, the very definition of a moderate Republican trying to appear moderate (And yes, I know that the Post-Times comparison looks stupid since they used a Post cover for their profile picture, but he's kissing his wife on it, showing off his romantic, lively side, which is the antithesis of the Republican party, so they kind of equal themselves out). Its understated grey font on a white background, and it's lone photo of Giuliani's Time Man Of The Year cover all kind of say, "I'm classy, but I'm not going to rub it in, because that'd be rude." Shrewd Mr. Mayor, very shrewd.

Mitt Romney: Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney is kind of a dark horse in the race so far, seeing as he's not really that well known nation wide. So what does he do? He goes alternative - he takes it to the Facebook, looking to get into the minds of the educated youth, make them think that he's hip. Listing the Kingston Trio in his favorite music is kind of working against that goal, but whatever. It's also fun to read his wall - which as of yesterday was littered with as many negative messages calling him a crap governor as there were ones saying how excited to see him speak in their town, but today, they're all gone. Though for some reason they decided it was fine to leave up the ones asking Mr. Romney when they were going to hang out or if he could give them the notes from the lecture last week. Put the upside of having your candidate on the Facebook? You can tell your parents that you just poked the governor. And they'll ask you what that means, and you'll just shrug, because honestly, what the hell is the point of poking someone on Facebook?

Mike Huckabee: Wow. I know candidates like to get their names out there as much as possible, but Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee should really consider getting a cease and desist order against whoever made his unofficial MySpace page for him. A collection of every YouTube clip Huckabee ever appeared in (I think one of Jason Schwartzman and Jude Law made its way into the bottom there too), every logo or seal that you could possibly equate with Mr. Huckabee, a slide show of photos of the site's creator with Mr. Huckabee, and blocks of text that have never had a chance of seeing a paragraph break, the page reads more like a newspaper covered wall of a potential stalker/assassin than a campaign promotion. Helping no one is the choice of the Pointer Sisters as the page theme song, or the gigantic Huckabee logo that's used as the background. It's like his eyes are following you. Seriously though, he should probably up his secuirty detail.