But We're Not Robots

I have an odd relationship with Starbucks. I go there not only because it's name reminds me of Katee Sackhoff, but because it's the closest place where I can buy The New York Times. But I never feel comfortable standing in line there, the person in front of me ordering an intricate drink with words that contain syllables like 'ato', 'ano', 'cia' and then usually ends with the phrase "And the foam on that needs to be half half and half and half 2%. Seriously, it's important." I then follow them up by going, "So, is that one cold, or hot?" "Which one?" There's a pause here, as I just scan the board looking for whatever name I find amusing. "Sir?" "I'll have a caramel... machiato?" "Is that an order or a question sir?" "I'll have that. That thing I just said." "What size would you like?" "Small please." "You mean tall?" "You know damn well what I meant."

In the middle of all this though, I noticed the CD that they were hawking in front of the register was Sonya Kitchell's. Sonya Kitchell, a girl from Western Mass, who I saw sing at Helsinki three years ago. When she was 14. Which means she's 17 now. Which means I feel like a total schlep. Three years later, she'll be playing at a club in Chicago to support the national release of her album, while I'll be sitting in a dorm room in Chicago, eating Ramen noodles. It makes sense of course, because she has been working and promoting herself, and the fact that she has a beautiful, captivating voice probably helps too. I tried singing once, but it didn't end well. After what, in my opinion, was a rousing version of 'We Didn't Start The Fire', I was told that I sound like a frog, more specifically a frog that had been run over and then left to bake in the sun a little. My grandma doesn't really make sense when she drinks though.

In other wonderkids news, The Star Wars Kid has settled his court case against the kids who leaked his tape to the world. Recently released documents detail how he was just, mercilessly mocked, which despite what most people think, really isn't as flattering to the kid being mocked as they think it is ("No seriously, I appreciate the effort that went into drawing all of these pictures depicting how fat I am, but all I'm asking is that you look at why I might not be super excited about it."). On the bright side though, he really has become a phenomenon, more than most embarrassing internet videos ever become, getting him referenced on shows like 'American Dad' and becoming a running gag on 'Arrested Development' (We should really get a new tape). I'm sure he would have rather that none of this ever happened, but hopefully in a few years he'll be able to see something positive in all of this. One lesson I hope he learned: always make sure that you have a clear space when you're practicing your lightsaber moves (seriously, the only reason I could see for that rag to be there was for him to slip on it). And, more importantly, don't tape it.

Also, I wanted to mention this great article on Scrubs running in the Sunday Times (which I bought for a buck, rather than the 5 it takes to buy the Sunday edition outside of the New York area, since they were selling it Saturday afternoon.) It tells the tale of why the show has been noticeably goofier this season, and why it'll probably stay that way (a good chunk of that is due to the fact that Howie Mendell's 'Suitcases and Numbers' is the best thing NBC has going for them right now). So, sorry Jake.