We're The Good Guys.

So, apparently, the numbers are the core values in the equation that formulates the end of humanity. The DHARMA initiative was founded to find a way to manipulate these values, to change the destructive path of humanity. That didn't work so now they're injecting people with viruses. Or something. I really have no idea what I just wrote. This video is the culmination of the summer long webgame ABC has been running to keep fans interested in 'Lost'. I think they might have over done it though since I was obviously going to watch this Wednesday's premiere, but after watching this clip I felt so lost (it's a pun that will never ever die) and confused that I just wanted to curl into a ball and watch 'Deal Or No Deal'. That's the type of drama I can handle - it's like 'Lost', but in nice forty minute chunks. Will they or won't they make the deal? What is in their suitcase (a 'Pulp Fiction' reference? Oh those crafty writers)? Who is the banker? Can Howie Mandell reflect light off of his head in such a manner that it would create a lethal heat ray? All of that, plus, case model 14 is really hot. So honestly, who needs JJ Abrams?

My Name, Is Cassidy!

Hey, what are you up to Tuesday night? Really? Well whatever it is you said, shut up. Because you need to be home, with your eyes firmly fixated at a television set, watching 'Veronica Mars'. Oh sure, you could watch it here right now (if you're willing to download a bunch of Microsoft software - which I'm not). But you know what, don't. Restrain yourself. Watch it on television. I know, it seems silly, antiquated, but believe it or not, they judge the success of television shows by how many people watch them when they're on television. 'Veronica Mars' is a terrific show, and if you want it to continue, you need to watch it, it's that simple, okay? I'm tired of everyone complaining, "'Arrested Development' was such a great show, why would they cancel it?" Because you didn't watch it. There. That's it. So watch 'Veronica Mars', do yourself a favor and tune in an hour earlier and watch 'Gilmore Girls' too. Or else you'll make the baby Jesus cry.

(If you didn't watch the episode and you're still looking for a Veronica fix, check out the new, moodier title sequence. I like the visuals, but the remix is so mopey. The guitar 'wah-wah's are so limp, they barely warrant my trademark and always hilarious shooting hand movements that I make at the beginning of every show. I say barely because, you better believe I'm still going to do them. And it's going to be sweet. Also, Mac and Lamb are regulars now, to which I say, hurray.)

LDN

London is the prettiest city in the world. It's official. And let's forget about the delusional dreams of somehow wooing two of the most sought after women on the planet, if you lived in London, you could just buy a date with the coolest girl in the world. That, and brown sauce is readily available. It's not fair, it's just... not.

Secretary Of The Treasury Hobo Joe Junkpan

I hate Radar Online, not only because I was highly disappointed when I found out their site had nothing to do with Gary Burghoff, but because they took what is by far the best title you could have for a story about John Hodgman for their interview with him, Hodgmania! Because really, it's the only suitable term to describe the state of the nation right now. You might not even be aware of it, but you're a hodgmaniac. Yes, that would explain the rashes.

You probably recognize him from his work on 'The Daily Show' as 'That Guy Who Makes Things Up' (which isn't really as specific a term as I thought it would be), or as his personification of the most used computers in the world. Those of you who still know what a radio is might know him from his work on This American Life (click here to hear his great 'Flight Vs. Invisibility' piece), or his book, 'The Areas Of My Expertise'. This is the 'Daily Show' interview that started his gig there (arguably the origins of 'Hodgmania'), and also made me run out and buy the book (he had me at "drawing of a bird with a hat"). In it he mentions the list of 700 hobo names in the book, and how he read them all to musical accompaniment. This list has also inspired the creation of E-Hobo.com, a web community where people have banded together to illustrate all 700 of Hodgman's Hoboes (plus the 100 extra names that were added to the new paperback edition).

He's currently on a literary tour for the paperback edition, and is stopping in Chicago this weekend. I'm nervous though, what will I say? How can you thank the man who taught you that you must tip the hotel lullaby singer $5 per song, and an extra $2 if they use a harp? How?

Seriously Though

Since lonelygirl is a fake, apparently the new internet fad is looking for proof that I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.
(Thanks Matt)