The Dark Knight Returns
This is all rather disheartening. They're shooting the new Batman movie in town right now - I know since every film student is simulteanously pulling their hair out/selling their bodies to get onto the set as PAs (it's all a little counterproductive if you ask me, but whatever), or they're scouring the south side in hopes of finding the mythical warehouse that supposedly houses twenty copies of the new Batmobile (Oh, goodness, that is going to end so well. "Film Student Violenty Beaten To Death In Search Of Prop Car. Grieving Mother: 'At least he died doing what he loved. I guess.'"). And of course, even if I wasn't in film school, the whole crashing buses through buildings and trying to light the city on fire again might have tipped me off a bit. But, this is all pointless now. Whats the point of making a new Batman movie when you have this?
The seemless camera movement, the flawless sound design, the breathtakingly real fight choreography. Who needs Christian Bale when you can dress up in a Halloween costume on your moms roof? Who needs Heath Ledger when you have a guy with a question mark shirt hiding in a port-o-john? Who needs Chris O'Donnell... actually that kid was probably on par with Chris O'Donnell now that I think about it. The way he just walks off getting hit in the head with a cane likes its an ice cream headache - he needs to be sitting across a table from Jame Lipton right now.
In all seriousness though, its fun to laugh at this, but then, I start to think about how blatantly bad it is, and the time they must have but into this, and... it kind of haunts me. Is it a joke? If it is it's brilliant, but, theres just... they must have had those fucking costumes, and the dialogue is the exact same stuff I would come up with when I played Batman as a kid - like line for line (I had the breast plate and everything, it was sweet). It's just... too subtle, to naive to be satire. It's like the film equivalent of a terrible American Idol audition. They can watch this over and over, and they just won't get it. So is it some wildly insightful piece of satire, like Sartre if he wrote a graphic novel, or is just, as wrestler1304 wrote, "probably the gayest thing i have ever seen"? I guess we'll just have to wait to find out.
One thing we do not have to wait to learn though, if Batman is being attacked by some anonymous hoodied thug with a big stick, and he just can't quite shake him, all Robin has to do is apparently threaten to hug him and he'll run off. Because no one wants to touch a 25 year old who walks around in public in ridiculously restrictive green underwear. No one.
(Link via ISB, via Boing Boing)
The seemless camera movement, the flawless sound design, the breathtakingly real fight choreography. Who needs Christian Bale when you can dress up in a Halloween costume on your moms roof? Who needs Heath Ledger when you have a guy with a question mark shirt hiding in a port-o-john? Who needs Chris O'Donnell... actually that kid was probably on par with Chris O'Donnell now that I think about it. The way he just walks off getting hit in the head with a cane likes its an ice cream headache - he needs to be sitting across a table from Jame Lipton right now.
In all seriousness though, its fun to laugh at this, but then, I start to think about how blatantly bad it is, and the time they must have but into this, and... it kind of haunts me. Is it a joke? If it is it's brilliant, but, theres just... they must have had those fucking costumes, and the dialogue is the exact same stuff I would come up with when I played Batman as a kid - like line for line (I had the breast plate and everything, it was sweet). It's just... too subtle, to naive to be satire. It's like the film equivalent of a terrible American Idol audition. They can watch this over and over, and they just won't get it. So is it some wildly insightful piece of satire, like Sartre if he wrote a graphic novel, or is just, as wrestler1304 wrote, "probably the gayest thing i have ever seen"? I guess we'll just have to wait to find out.
One thing we do not have to wait to learn though, if Batman is being attacked by some anonymous hoodied thug with a big stick, and he just can't quite shake him, all Robin has to do is apparently threaten to hug him and he'll run off. Because no one wants to touch a 25 year old who walks around in public in ridiculously restrictive green underwear. No one.
(Link via ISB, via Boing Boing)
Labels: Batman, Jean-Paul Sartre, Lack Of A Social Life, Robin
posted by Ben at 6:57 PM
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