I Blame Xenu

It is impossible to get sick of Tom Cruise. Perhaps that's the mission in Mission Impossible 3, just a large group of people watching Tom Cruise movies, and a man in a white lab coat periodically sticking his head in to ask if they're sick of him yet. The answer will of course be no. Then that jazzy theme will kick in.



Actually no, it won't be that. But Paramount certainly seems to be testing the idea, since it put the MI:3 ad that aired during the super bowl into regular circulation. Maybe they didn't, maybe they're only airing it during the episode of Stella I'm watching at 2 in the morning, as a secret special treat for people like me who watch television in the middle of the night. But once again, I think I'm off. I also think I should wear a suit more often. Damn they look sharp. I mean look at them. Really, look at them. Seeing the ad wouldn't be strange except MI:3 isn't coming out till May 5th. May 5th, as in three months from now. So if you haven't gotten your fill of Tom Cruise in the last six months from his constant camera mugging and random public breakdowns, then you're in luck, because you'll get to see him look all angry as Phillip Seymour Hoffman shouts at him over and over again till it feels like they're a part of you, the little voice that helps you through those rough little patches of the day. Like when you run out of yarn and it's started to rain, and damn why is the yarn emporium so far away?

You know what would also be super? If instead of continually showing Hoffman shouting and Cruise smoldering (it's the only word that could begin to describe what the man does), maybe they could show more of the 50 people I actually care about who are supposed to be in this movie. Billy Crudup, Laurence Fishburne, Simon Pegg (could zombies be part of the mission? I can only dream), Michelle Monaghan, Keri Russell, and the man among men, Greg Grunberg. Who, I should note, also looks incredibly sharp in a suit. But sharp suits aside, I'll probably see Tom Cruise hit that car a hundred more times before I see footage of any of them in the movie. Though seeing him hit that car is kind of funny. You know what else is funny? 'Road Trip'. It's on TBS right now, and apparently, they know funny.