John Hodgman Bought Me A Hotdog

The Hot Dog John Hodgman Bought For Me

That's a bit misleading, though technically true. He bought hotdogs for the entire audience, but I was a member of that audience, so, if you think about it, he bought me a hot dog. Sadly, it was covered in the mixture of salad and odd green, candied relish that Chicago insists on putting on its hot dogs. It's - it's not that it's bad, it just seems so unnecessary. Like they're ashamed of their meat. So they hide it behind a tomato. It's all very sad. It's like going on a date with a girl wearing heavy make up. You're pretty, stop dressing like some terrifying circus clown.

The reading began with a musical performance by Jonathan Coulton, who sings kind of, satirical folks songs. Like DaVinci's Notebook, but with an instrument. He's actually playing a show with Paul and Storm tomorrow night. He sang the usual fare, love songs of gigolos and mad scientists, and then sang Hodgman's theme song. Which, as you may have guessed, led to John Hodgman. Not that he had some grand, wrestler like entrance into the Borders reference section. He had actually been sitting in front of me during Coulton's set, and before that had been talking to those of us who had gotten there half an hour early. Still though, when you have your own troubadour sing of your praises, you look very impressive.

The Symbol On The Podium Means "It is time for hoboes to take over the United States government"

He then proceeded to have us recite the six oaths of the virtuous child, talked a bit about the history of almanacs, his history, and then he delved into all matters hobo, including how he originally had planned to use the hobo material from the book for a PBS documentary, where it would be narration going back and forth over a slow Ken Burns pan of the same photo of a hobo. Sadly, hobos don't show up on film, so the idea was scrapped. Coulton also played 'Big Rock Candy Mountain', but with the original lyrics, the ones written as a way to entice children to run away from home and join their hobo lives. I can only imagine what the woman behind them was thinking when they segued into the 'Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch' version of the song (which they were quick to point out, seemed dated even though the ad campaign has only been over for a few months).

They did a Q&A after that, entirely conducted through walkie talkies (invented here in Chicago as some odd man lurking in the corner was eager to point out). It was one of the least awkward Q&As I've ever been to, which says something about the other ones I've been to (some highlights: the 'Shopgirl' session where someone asked Jason Schwartzman and Clare Danes what it was like to work with Robin Williams, or the 'Half Nelson' one a few weeks ago, where they didn't even have the lights on, they did the entire thing in silhouette). He then ended the reading by throwing a piece of official John Hodgman railroad track chalk at a woman in the back, missing, hitting the ceiling, and dinging a man in the last row.



He signed my book afterwards, and after asking me what I was studying here, commented, "Well good, Chicago is the film capital of the world. If you like Joan Cusack movies." Which is now officially the line I'm going to use when ever anyone asks me why I decided to come here (because honestly, she is delightful). So, thank you Mr. Hodgman.